Saturday, December 18, 2010

As I stand here in my kitchen...

I realized, after commenting on Nicole's latest post, that I haven't posted lately.  My life has been WICKED busy, and I'm trying hard not to fall off the wagon that I've been trying so hard to hang on to.  They really should make seat belts for these things.

I saw my doctor this week as a followup to her changing my meds.  It was a good visit.  My blood pressure is under control, and my fibromyalgia has been manageable.  She told me that as long as I'm having more good days than bad, I'm doing well.  I'm trying to give myself permission to hurt, which is hard, because it means that I'm actually realizing that my body isn't ever going to feel perfect.  My "normal" is to feel like a 65 year old (or older) person, with aches, pains, fatigue, and I'm not going to feel like a healthy 30-year-old woman most days.

Another thing that she pointed out was that I have been steadily losing over the past few months.  According to my chart, I've lost about 10 pounds.  It doesn't sound fantastic, and it's not, but it is better than gaining.  She reminded me that losing gradually is the way to keep it off, and that I'm probably better off this way.  I was told to stay patient, keep taking care of myself, and I will surely see results soon enough.  (Soon enough for her, maybe.  **snicker**)

Here's an interesting tidbit.  I have a family member who has had weight loss surgery, and has been REALLY sick after losing 100 lbs in a year.  The doctors told this family member that the reason he's been so sick is because his fat was helping him filter some things.  Also, his cholesterol is higher than it's been in years because his fatty liver is dumping all of the fat stores directly into his blood stream.  He had joked with me that he was better off fat - and while not exactly true, his rapid weight loss has greatly affected his current state of ill health.

I guess I'm using this blog to convince myself that it's okay, I'm okay, and doing it slowly is the right way.


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