Sunday, January 8, 2012

There is nothing to fear but...

Isn't this always the way???

Good eating habits, good activity, lose weight, feel fantastic.  Then life happens.  Whatever it is that comes up that you stop feeling motivated happens, and you fall off the wagon.  Sedentary life makes its way back to your reality, and you become complacent.

Okay, scratch that.  Replace all those "you" with "I".

THEN the day comes that I'm tired of feeling like poo.  We all get there, right?  But to get moving again is always so hard!  It's so much easier to sit on the sofa, surfing online, looking at the dresses on ModCloth (or whatever your personal window shopping drug of choice is) that I'll never be able to wear until I get off my can!

Today, we got up and went to church.  The service was moving.  It was about fear, and how fear makes us feel all kinds of things, but in the end once we face it, it runs.  Fear cannot fight.  It was so moving that my husband actually brought it up at lunchtime.  It was one of those completely pertinent lessons that applies to so many aspects of my life.  While I was sitting there, I thought about how fear applies to situations in my marriage.  It applies to different parts of my life like finances, relationships, my health...

My health.

What is it that I was so afraid of?  That if I started moving again I might feel bad?  What, like I wasn't feeling bad anyway?  Those close to me know that I have chronic health problems that physically limit me pretty often.  If I sit too long, I have a hard time standing.  I went to the movies the other evening and was so uncomfortable - shifting back and forth constantly just to manage sitting for 2 hours.

After lunch, the handsome hubby went to take a nap because he's working nights tonight.  The kids were keeping themselves entertained, and I was surfing Pinterest (okay, fine, and Modcloth), and then it happened.

I faced it.

I pulled out the mat, grabbed my bands and my Pilates DVD, and I did my workout.  I used the low resistance bands so I can start out responsibly.  It felt absolutely fantastic!  My shoulders are sore, but that's okay.  They should be!  It'll be a while before my hips regain their flexibility, but I moved them.

Was I afraid of pain?  Not really.  Was I lazy?  For sure, but part of the service this morning was that there is a little fear in every bit of laziness, procrastination, and avoidance.  To tell you the truth, I think I was most afraid of failure.  I'll share something with you, though, and there's a good chance I'll need to come back and read this again in the coming days.

There is no failure in making improvements.  There is no failure in eating right.  There is no failure in moving my body.  There is no failure if I take baby steps every day.

The only failure is inactivity.  That's it.  There is nothing to fear but poor health and inactivity, and it is never too late.  Never!


Coley Loree said...

So true! I am proud of you though! Naming the fear, facing the fear, and doing something about the fear....all possible when we are true to ourselves.

Keep up the good work! Look at how far you have come since last year!

Chrissy said...

Seriously Amber, I recently had this same realization. I have one slip up, or miss a workout and I freak out and start to eat everything and anything I can get my hands on and completely lose control. I know it's because I'm either afraid to fail or I'm afraid I won't have anything to obsess over once I've succeeded.